Just found this old previously unpublished post of an old work trip to Moranbah. It’s in Queensland’s north west. The trip started with me picking up my hire car, unlike the last trip where I was appropriately provided with a nice new Ford Falcon, this time they blessed me with a Hyundai Getz. Ok, it was better on petrol, but come on – even the girliest girls have V8s in this town.
The trip started well, after booking my first consultation at 4pm, my 2 hour drive from Mackay airport after the plane landing at 3pm was always going to be a struggle. I got into my new pretty red little car and punched the details into my GPS. 2 hours, 5 mins… Looked like mostly straight roads, maybe with a bit of ah… tactical acceleration I could make it in an hour and a half and not be too late.
I got about 20 minutes into the trip and looked at my phone, realising I needed to call ahead and let them know I was going to be late, no reception. Weird, didn’t think I was THAT far out of town, but ok, I’ll call when I get to my stop. You don’t get traffic when you are in a hurry in this sort of place, but you do get animal crossings; Cows, twice. Not just 5 or 10 cows either, I’m talking what seemed like one hundred or so.
Eventually I got to town and tried to call again, but still no reception. Oh well, better hurry; checked in, got changed and headed off 5 mins down the road to the appointment. They had been trying to ring me, as had the sales rep, and my boss – I was advised then that there is no reception unless you are with Telstra, and everywhere was closed after 3pm. I guessed that my second appointment was still going to be on and turned up anyway – it was. After that, I decided to take the fast food route for dinner – only Red Rooter was open… Oh well, drive through will be nice and quick. Not.
25 minutes I sat with the buzzbox off waiting to move. There was only 1 car in front of me. Eventually I ordered, gave the girl $20.45 for my $10.45 meal and got $9 change. I counted it, looked at her and she just looked very vacant. I wasn’t in the mood to give a primary school maths lesson, so I just left… the $1 was a tip for the uh… service.
The rest of the trip wasn’t nearly as interesting as the first night – which was ##exampled by one family saying “so what do you do during the day in boringbah?� Besides a bit of a workout at the gym, I did bugger all during the days.
The most memorable parts of the trip were as follows (in random order);
- One boy asked his mum a question, that she answered “I’m not an octopus, how do you expect me to remember that?�
- Ordered a pizza one night, after telling the girl my name was Brendan, she put down Bruno. I waited 40 minutes for the pizza, yet there was no one coming or going from the shop, and when they gave it to me it was supreme – I ordered meat lovers. They re-made it and called my name “Bruno� I took the pizza and told the girl she could call me Brendan and gave her a wink.
- Was craving fish and chips one night, so went to the restaurant attached to the hotel, a Chinese Restaurant that had a whole separate “Aussie Menu�. The heading was “Aussie Menu – all meals served with chips�. Brilliant, so I ordered one fish and chips to be told “sorry, we don’t have chips anymore�.
- At an appointment with a mum and daughter (in yr 9) and asked “what is 6 times 6?� Before the girl had a chance to think, the mother yells “12!� so the girl agrees. I asked “Are you sure… 6 TIMES 6…� only to be told by the mother “yeah, it’s bloody 12, stop trying to trick her�. The girl looked on the wall at her timetable poster and told me it was 36, to which mum chimed in “Oh, I thought you mean 6 with a little 2 up above it�.
- The final point to remember was in subway, a guy came in with his ear pierced, one of the big holes, about the size of a 10c coin, only to have the loudmouth busy body woman behind him snarl “is that the thing these days?… big bloody holes in your body… looks bloody stupid to me.. I don’t understand you kids… did it hurt?â€? He ignored her, and a wise decision I think.
The trip ended much more uneventfully than it had started and I was home before I knew it, back to the real world. I love the trips away, as much because its eye opening as anything else.
